Responsibilities Towards One’s Parents

قَالَ الصَّادِقُ )ع): لاَ تَمْلاَ عَيْنَيْكَ مِنَ النَّظَرِ إِلَيْهِمَا إِلاَ بِرَحْمَةٍ وَ رِقَّةٍ وَ لاَ تَرْفَعْ صَوْتَكَ فَوْقَ أَصْوَاتِهِمَا وَ لاَ يَدَيْكَ فَوْقَ أَيْدِيهِمَا وَ لاَ تَتَقَدَّمْ قُدَّامَهُمَا.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has said (in regards to one’s parents): “Do not cast your gaze upon them except with love and compassion; do not raise your voice above theirs; do not raise your hands above theirs; do not walk ahead of them.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 79

General Islamic codes: Death related issues

From the rulings of Grand Ayatullah Sayed Ali Hussaini Al-Seestani

Here are some rules in brief concerning the dying person, washing of the corpse and its shrouding, and burial procedure.¹

Before Death

132. It’s a matter of obligatory precaution that one should move the dying person in the direction of the qiblah during the last moments of his life. This is to be done by placing him on his back with his feet pointing towards the qiblah as though if he sits up, his face would be facing in that direction.
     It is recommended to read and ask the dying person to repeat the testament of belief (shahãda) concerning the Oneness of God and the faith in Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and the Imams (a.s.).
133. It is recommended to close the eyes of the dead person, their mouth, stretch their arms along their sides, straighten their legs, cover the body with a sheet of cloth, recite the Qur’ãn, and light up the room in which they lived. It is disliked to leave the corpse alone.

Ablution (Ghusl) for the Corpse

134. After getting rid of the impure (najis) elements that are on the body of the dead person (e.g., blood, semen, etc.), the corpse has to be given three ablutions as follows:
     1. First wash it with sidr water. That is, water to which a little of sidr has been added.²
     2. The second wash is with camphour water. That is, water to which a little bit of camphour has been added.
     3. The third wash is with pure water.
     
     
     If sidr is not available, then it is precautionarily obligatory to wash the corpse with pure water instead. Similarly, if camphour is not available, it is precautionarily obligatory to wash it with pure water instead. Then it should be washed the third time with pure water. In such a case, after the three washings, one tayammum should be performed on the corpse.
135. It is necessary that the ablution given to the corpse be of the tartibi kind: that is, the body should be washed in proper sequence with the head and the neck first, then the right side of the body, and then the left side.
136. The person washing the corpse must be of the same gender as the dead person. So, a male should wash a male corpse, and a female should wash a female corpse. However, husband and wife are allowed to perform ablution to one another; although it is better that the washing be done with the body covered with a sheet of cloth.
     If a person of the same gender is not available, then, based on obligatory precaution, those of the opposite gender who are mahram to the deceased can perform it. Mahram means those relations with whom marriage is forbidden because of blood relationship or nursing (suckling) relationship or marriage, like brother and sister [or son-in-law and mother-in-law]. However, it is better that the washing be done with the body covered with a sheet of cloth. Unity of gender is not required when giving ablution to a corpse of a child that had not reached the age of discerning the right and wrong.³
137. Based on obligatory precaution, the person performing ablution must be a mu’min. If neither a mu’min of the same gender as the deceased is available nor a mahram [even of the opposite gender], it is permissible that a Muslim of the same gender can wash the deceased.
     If even a Muslim is not available, then the deceased can be washed by an Ahlul Kitãb person [that is, a Jew, a Christian or a Zoroastrian] of the same gender with the condition that the person should first wash himself and then perform ablution to the corpse. If even an Ahlul Kitab person of the same gender is not available, the duty of performing ablution to the corpse is lifted, and the deceased should be buried without it.

Tahnít and Shrouding

138. After giving the ablution, it is wãjib to do tahnít. Tahnít means to rub camphour powder (which has maintained its fragrance) on the seven parts of the body that touch the ground in a posture ofsajdah: the forehead, the palms, the knees, and feet toes. It is preferable to start tahnít with the forehead and end with the palms.
139. After tahnít, the deceased has to be shrouded in three pieces of cloth as follows:
     1. The mi’zar: a piece of cloth [like an apron] that must cover the body between the navel and the knees, based on obligatory precaution.
     2. The qamís: a piece of cloth [like a shirt] that must cover the body from the shoulders to mid shank, based on obligatory precaution.
     3. The izãr: a large sheet of cloth that must cover the entire body. Based on obligatory precaution, it must be long and wide enough so that the top and the bottom parts could be tied [with a string], and the front parts overlap.

The Prayer

140. It is obligatory to say prayer over a deceased Muslim’s body of six years and over. Based on obligatory precaution, prayer should also be said over the body of a child who could do the salãt even if he or she had not yet reached the age of six.
141. The way to conduct prayer on the deceased:
     The person praying should recite five takbírs (say “Allãhu Akbar”). However, it is preferable that after each takbír he says the following:
     After the first takbir, he should say the shahãdatayn (declaration of faith in God and Prophet Muhammad).
     After the second takbír, he should say the salawãt on Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) and his progeny (a.s.).
     After the third takbír, he should say a prayer for the believing men and women.
     After the fourth takbír, he should say a prayer for the deceased.
     He should say the fifth takbír and end the salãt.

Burial

142. It is necessary to bury the deceased after the salãt. Burial is intended to protect the body from wild animals and its smell is contained within so that no one is annoyed by it. The body should be placed on its right side with the face towards the qiblah.
143. It is not permissible to bury a deceased Muslim in the graveyard of non-Muslims, except if a section of that graveyard is specifically reserved for Muslims. Similarly, no non-Muslim can be buried in the graveyard of Muslims.
144. When it is neither possible to get a grave for a deceased Muslim in the graveyard of Muslims, nor transfer the body to a Muslim country for burial in a Muslim graveyard, that deceased Muslim may be buried in the graveyard of non-Muslims.
145. It has been narrated from the Prophet (s.a.w.) that he said, “No time comes upon the dead person more difficult than the first night [of burial]. Therefore have mercy on your dead ones by giving charity [on their behalf]. If one does not have anything [to give in charity], one of you should pray two rak‘ah for them: in the first rak‘ah, after al-Hamd, recite Ãyatu ’l-kursi; and in the second rak‘ah, afteral-Hamd, recite surah al-Qadr ten times. After salãm, say: ‘Allãh humma salli ‘alã Muhammadin wa Ãli Muhammad, wab‘ath thawãbahã ila qabri fulãn;’⁴ and name the deceased person [instead of fulãn].”⁵

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1. For further details, see Sayyid as-Sistani, Minhaju 's-Saliheen, vol. 1, p. 95 ff.; as-Sistani, al-Masa'ilu 'l-Muntakhaba, p. 50 ff.
2. Translator's Note: Sidr is name of a lotus tree; "sidr water" means the water to which sidr leaves have been added.
3. Translator's Note: The age of discerning right and wrong (tamyiz) is different from the age of maturity (bulûgh). The latter is 9 for girls and 15 for boys but the former could be at five or six.
4. "O Allah, send Your blessings upon Muhammad and the Family of Muhammad, and send the reward of this prayer to the grave of x."
5. Sayyid as-Sistani, al-Masa'ilu 'l-Muntakhaba, p. 63.

General Islamic codes: Fasting

From the rulings of Grand Ayatullah Sayed Ali Hussaini Al-Seestani

Among the acts that invalidate fasting is intentionally eating and drinking. So, if a person who is fasting eats or drinks by mistake (e.g., he forgot that he was fasting) and not intentionally, his fasting is in order and there is no penalty upon him.
Among the acts that invalidate fasting of Ramdhãn is intentionally staying in a state of janãbat until the beginning of true dawn. So if such a person intentionally remains in that state without performing major ablution (ghusl) until the beginning of the true dawn in the month of Ramadhan, then it is obligatory upon him to refrain from the forbidden things for the remaining of the day. 

1. (As a matter of obligatory precaution one should abstain with the intention of “ma fidh dhimma — what is expected of him”.) They should also make up this fast some other day [after Ramadhan] with the intention of “ma fidh dhimma” and also incur the penalty, based on obligatory precaution. If a person is sick and cannot perform ghusl because of his sickness, he should do tayammum before true dawn; thereafter, they will be considered to be in a state of ritual purity. Thus, they will be able to fast.

Among the acts that invalidate fasting in the month of Ramadhãn is for a woman to remain until true dawn in a state of ritual impurity caused by menstruation (hayz) or post-natal bleeding (nifãs) after it had stopped and while it was possible for her to do major ablution (ghusl). So if she stays without ghusl till the beginning of true dawn, her situation will be the same as that of the person in janãbat as mentioned above. If performing ghusl was not possible for her, she should take to tayammum.
It is preferable for the fasting person not to swallow phlegm that has reached the mouth, although it is permissible for him to swallow it. Similarly, it is permissible for him to swallow the saliva that has gathered in the mouth, even in large quantities.
Discharge of semen during daytime does not invalidate the fast; and the person should perform ghusl for janãbat for his salãt. So discharge of semen [during daytime] does not invalidate fasting.
Washing the teeth with brush and toothpaste does not invalidate the fast as long as the person does not swallow the saliva that has mixed with the toothpaste. However, the lingering flavour or taste of the paste that mixes with the saliva does not affect the fasting.
If a Muslim lives in a city that has daylight for six months and night for six months [e.g., the northern part of Europe or Canada], it is obligatory for him to move during the month of Ramadhãn to a city with ‘normal’ day and night so that he can start fasting, if not, he should move after that month to fast as qadhã (making up the missed fast). However, if it is not possible for him to move, then he has to pay compensation (fidya) instead of fasting; that means giving 750 grams of food [rice or flour] to a poor person per day.
If a Muslim lives in a city where daylight in some seasons is for 23 hours and the night is only for one hour or vice versa, it is still obligatory on him to fast, if he has the ability to do so. But if he is not able to fast, the obligation is forfieted. If it is possible for him to do qadhã later on [e.g., in other seasons or] by moving to another city, it is wãjib for him to do the qadhã. If he is uable even to do the qadhã, it is obligatory on him to pay fidya in lieu of fasting.

Etiquette of Joking, Laughing, Whispering, Sitting in a Company and of Keeping the Sanctity of a Gathering:

(Tehzeeb-ul-Islam, Allama Majlisi's book)

According to a tradition coming from Imam Mohammed Baqir (a.s.), one
should not whisper when there are only three people gathered, as it is
bound to hurt the third person present.
According to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.), when a person ignores and
cuts short the talk of a fellow-momin, it is like scratching the face of the
fellow-momin.
Many traditions have stated that when one sits with someone, or in
some gathering, then one should not disclose the talk which had taken
place in their company before others, unless one has taken their prior
permission.
According to the Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.), one should keep the sanctity
of all meetings and gatherings except when murder, rape or loot were
committed.
Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.) states that there is no momin who is not used
to humour and is also well-behaved.
According to Imam Mohammed Baqir (a.s.), a person who enlivens
the mood of a company, is considered a friend by the Almighty God,
provided he is not using bad language for the purpose.
According to Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.), a momin only laughs with a
smile, not with a loud sound.
In another tradition he (a.s.) has stated that laughing loudly makes a
coward of a man and wastes faith in the same manner as salt melts in
water; and that laughing without any purpose is ignorance.
Yet in another tradition, laughing a lot has been prohibited as it spoils
the youthfulness of one's looks.
He (a.s.) has also stated that you can only joke with those you are intimate
with, but you should never use your hands and feet (i.e. no practical
jokes should be done).
A reliable tradition states that when one roars with laughter, one is
submitting oneself to shaitan and a lot of laughing robs one of one's look
of freshness.
Hazrat Ali (a.s.) has stated that one should not make fun of others as it
is understood to be a low type of abuse and it creates more improper
feelings in the other's heart.
A reliable tradition from Imam Moosa Kazim (a.s.) states that joking a
lot makes one lose the light of faith and lessens generosity and
manliness.
In another tradition it is stated that Prophet Yahya (a.s.) used to cry
only - he never smiled. Whereas Prophet Esa (Jesus) (a.s.) used to cry and
laugh as well. In another tradition it is related that Hazrat Dawood (a.s.)
asked his son Hazrat Sulaiman (a.s.) that he should not laugh a lot, for a
lot of laughing makes a man poor on the Day of Judgement.
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.a.) has stated that for a person aware of hell it
is very difficult to laugh.
According to Imam Ja'far-e-Sadiq (a.s.), people who laugh a lot, just to
while their time or on account of corruption, will have to cry a lot on the
Day of Judgement. There are a few people who cry over their sins and
they will laugh a lot.
All these traditions emphasize that a momin should not always make a
face and be reserved with everyone; on the contrary, a momin should be
broad minded, well-mannered and laugh a little, but he should not laugh
a lot and make fun of others and it is a sigh of a low and degraded
person.

Wretchedness

عَنِ الصَّادِقِ )ع) قَالَ: عُقُوقُ الْوَالِدَيْنِ مِنَ الْكَبَائِرِ لِأَنَّ اللٌّهَ جَعَلَ الْعَاقَّ عَصِيّاً شَقِيّاً.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has stated: “Becoming disowned by one’s parents is one of the Great Sins. This is because Allah, the Mighty and the Glorious, has termed such a person disobedient and wretched.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 74

Humility of ʿAllāmah Ṭabāṭabāʾī

By: Grand Ayatullah Abdullah Jawadi Amoli

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There were few Islamic or Qur'anic issues in which His Eminence, Our Teacher, did not have a comprehensive knowledge. If, on occasion, an issue arose which he had not studied every facet of, he would say (with candor): "I do not know." This is what the Commander of the Faithful, Imam Ali (Peace be Upon him) spoke of when he said: Half of knowledge is to say: "I do not know." This means that human beings do not have the capacity to absorb an unlimited amount of knowledge and perfection. This limited [capacity for attaining] perfection mandates that man – whatever he knows – he must express with humility, and [that] if he does not know, moreover, he must say: "I do not know." One who is truly learned, has the audacity [to confess this]; this audacity – in terms of practice – is [a facet of] perfection, and such a perfection constitutes half of knowledge.

His Eminence, Our Teacher, was humble toward all people, but his humility and benevolence toward his students had an [entirely] different air and appearance to it, such that he considered his students to be his children. His method in approaching [them] was such that, when in his presence, aside from the knowledge which one gained from him one would also gain emotional benefit. One would profit from [enlightening] teachings accompanied by the nourishment of compassion.

It is narrated from the great Prophet (Peace and Blessings be Upon him and his Household): Ali and I are the fathers of the Islamic nation. The religious scholars who completely obey the authority of that great man, use this same emotional expression with respect to their students. The teacher plays a fatherly role [for his students].

The humility of His Eminence, Our Teacher – like the other moral characteristics of this great man – was an approach which had an effect on those who surrounded him; [in fact,] it could be considered a type of class in morality. His opinion about the study of morals drew heavily from this method, such that in response to the repeated requests from him to teach a class on morals, he would say: Morals is not something to be taught in a class; rather, it is a method of action. A [moral] person's path and his actions must be the teacher; if we simply say that one must be humble, trusting, and the like, these words fail in solving the core of moral problems. But when an individual himself is humble and trusting, others – in seeing his humility and trust – will [fall under his influence and] become humble and trusting.

This is because the language of action is more substantive than spoken language, and [thus] the impact of action is greater than the impact of [mere] words. And because the real expression is stronger than the verbal expression, its influence is greater. However, the difficulty of the real expression [of morals] has caused it to become rare, and for the verbal expression to become more prevalent. The prevalence [of an action] depends on [its level of ease]; just as has been said about truth and other issues: 'A right/truth is the vastest thing in description but narrowest in equability of action.¹' [The Peak of Eloquence, Sermon 215]

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[1] i.e. when people describe the truth/rights and clarify it, they will have a vast area due to the ease of its mentioning on their tongues. However, when equability of action comes into place between them and they are accounted for it, it becomes narrow due to the difficulty of acting upon truth and equity. (Allamah Majlisī, Sharḥ Nahj al-Balāghah, Biḥār al-Anwār, v. 2)

Source: Ayatollah Javadi Amoli, Shamsolvahy-e Tabrizi, p. 241 -

Acts without Benefits

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللٌّهُ)ص): يُقَالُ لِلْعَاقِّ إِعْمَلْ مَا شِئْتَ فَإِنِّي لاَ أَغْفِرُ لَكَ وَ يُقَالُ لِلْبَارِّ إِعْمَلْ مَا شِئْتَ فَإِنِّي سَأَغْفِرُ لَكَ.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) has said: “One who has been disowned by his parents is told: ‘Act as you please, for I shall not forgive you.’ Whereas one who is good towards his parents is told, ‘Act as you please.  I will be forgiving towards you.’”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 80

Forgiveness of Sins

عَنْ عَلِيِّ بْنِ الْحُسَينِ )ع) قَالَ: جَاءَ رُجُلٌ إِلـى النَّبِيِّ )ص) فَقَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللٌّهِ مَا مِنْ عَمَلٍ قَبِيحٍ إِلاَّ قَدْ عَمِلْتُهُ فَهَلْ لِي مِنْ تَوْبَةِ؟  فَقَالَ لَهُ رَسُولُ اللٌّهُ )ص) فَهَلْ مِنْ وَالِدَيكْ أَحَدٌ حَيٌّ؟ قَالَ أَبِي. قَالَ فَاذْهَبْ فَبِرْهُ.  قَالَ فَلَمَّا وَلَّى قَالَ رَسُولُ اللٌّهُ )ص): لَوْ كَانَتْ أُمُّهُ.‏

Imam Zainul `Abidin (peace be upon him) relates: “Once a person approached the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) and said: ‘O’ Prophet of Allah!  I have committed every known evil act.  Is there a chance that I may be forgiven?’  The Messenger of Allah asked him: ‘Are any of your parents still alive?’ The man replied: ‘My father.’  He said to him: ‘Go and be good and kind to him.’ When he left, the Messenger of Allah muttered: ‘If only his mother had been alive.’”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 82

If someone calls your mother black, would you respond to him like Imam Baqir?

An adherent of a revealed religion (kitabi) attacked the Ima`m, was aggressive towards him, and addressed him with bitter words:

 “You are baqar (cow). 

However, the Imam treated him kindly. He smiled at him, saying: 

“No, I am Ba`qir.

The adherent went on attacking the Imam, saying: “You are the son of the cook. 
The Imam smiled at him. This aggression did not excite him. Rather he said to him: 

“That is her job. 

Still the adherent went on attacking the Imam, saying:

You are the son of the black woman…. 

The Ima`m did not become angry. Rather he treated him kindly, saying: 

If you are truthful, may Allah forgive you. If you are a liar, may Allah forgive you. 

Thus, the adherent admired the Ima`m’s high morals that marked the morals of the prophets. Then he became Moslem.

• (A’yan al-Shi’a, 4/Q1/504)