Benefits of Kindness to Parents.

فَقَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ )ع): يَا مُيَسِّرُ قَدْ حَضَرَ أَجْلُكَ غَيْرُ مَرَّةٍ وَ لاَ مَرَّتَينِ كُلُّ ذٌلِكَ يُؤَخِّرُ اللٌّهُ أَجَلَكَ لِصِلَّتِكَ قُرَابَتِكَ وَ إِنْ كُنْتَ تُرِيدُ أَنْ يُزَادَ فِي عُمْرِكَ فَبِرْ شَيْخَيكَ يَعْنِي أَبَوَيهِ.

[Hanan Ibn Sudair narrates: “We were in the presence of Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) and a midst us was Muyassir.  During the discussion, the topic of silah rahim (establishing bonds of kinship with one’s relatives) came to the fore, whereupon] the Imam (peace be upon him), [addressing Muyassir], said: ‘O’ Muyassir!  On several occasions, your end had drawn near, but on each occasion, Allah delayed your death due to your acts of silah rahim with your relatives.  If you desire to have your life-span increased, exhibit goodness and kindness towards your parents.’

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 84

First and Foremost - be Good to your Mother

عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ )ع): قَالَ جَاءَ رَجُلٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ )ص) فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللٌّهِ مَنْ أَبَرُّ؟ قَالَ أُمَّكَ. قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ أُمَّكَ. قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ أُمَّكَ. قَالَ ثُمَّ مَنْ؟ قَالَ أَبَاكَ‏.

Imam as-Sadiq (peace be upon him) relates that once a person approached the Noble Prophet (peace be upon him and his family) and asked: “O’ Prophet of Allah!  Towards whom should I exhibit goodness and kindness?”  The Noble Prophet replied: “Towards your mother.”  The man then asked: “And after that towards whom?”  The Noble Prophet again said: “Your Mother.”  He asked again: “And then?”  Once again, he replied: “Your mother.”  For the fourth time the man asked: “And then?”  This time he said: “(Then towards) Your father.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 49

As You Sow so Shall You Reap!

عَنْ رَسُولِ اللٌّهِ )ص): بِرُّوا آبَاءَكُمْ يَـبِرُّكُمْ أَبْنَاءُكُمْ. عِفُّوا عَنْ نِسَاءِ النٌّاسِ تُعَفُّ نِسَاءُكُمْ.

The Messenger of Allah (saws) has said: “Be good towards your parents and your children will be good towards you.  (And) Look upon the womenfolk of others with purity (in conduct and intention) and your womenfolk will be looked upon with purity.”

Kanzul `Ummal, Volume 16, Page 466

The Rights of the Father

عَنْ أَبِي الْحَسَنِ عَلِيِّ بنِ مُوسَى )ع) قَالَ: سَأَلَ رَجُلٌ رَسُولَ اللٌّهِ

)ص) مَا حَقُّ الْوَالِدِ عَلَى وَلَدِهِ؟ قَالَ: لاَ يُسَمِّيهِ بِاسْمِهِ وَ لاَ يَمْشِي بَيْنَ يَدَيْهِ وَ لاَ يَجْلِسُ قَبْلَهُ وَ لاَ يَسْتَسِبُّ لَهُ‏.

Imam ar-Ridha (as) narrates that a person once asked the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family): “What are the rights of the father upon the son?”  The Noble Prophet replied: “He should not call his father by name, he should not walk ahead of him, he should not sit until his father has seated himself and he should not do such acts as a result of which people abuse his father.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 45

Worship in Looking

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللٌّهِ )ص): نَظَرُ الْوَلَدِ إِلَى وَالِدَيْهِ حُبّاً لَهُمَا عِبَادَةٌ.

The Messenger of Allah (saws) has said: “The look of a child towards his parents out of love for them is an act of worship.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 80

Meaning of Good Conduct

عَنْ أَبِي وَلاَدِ الْحَنَّاطِ قَالَ: سَأَلْتُ أَبَا عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ )ع) عَنْ قَوْلِ اللٌّهِ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ } وَ بِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْساناً { مَا هٌذَا الإِِحْسَانُ؟ فَقَالَ: الإِِحْسَانُ أَنْ تُحْسِنَ صُحْبَتَهُمَا وَ أَنْ لاَ تُكَلِّفَهُمَا أَنْ يَسْأَلاَكَ شَيْئاً مِمَّا يَحْتَاجَانِ إِلَيْهِ‏.

Abu Wallad al-Hannat narrates that he once asked Imam as-Sadiq (as) about the meaning of the words of Allah (in the Qur’an): (And be good to parents.”) [1]

The Imam (peace be upon him) replied: “Being good to them means to accompany them in a good manner and never to wait for them to ask you for what they need.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 79

[1] - Al-Qur’an, Suratul Baqarah (2), Verse 83

Responsibilities Towards One’s Parents

قَالَ الصَّادِقُ )ع): لاَ تَمْلاَ عَيْنَيْكَ مِنَ النَّظَرِ إِلَيْهِمَا إِلاَ بِرَحْمَةٍ وَ رِقَّةٍ وَ لاَ تَرْفَعْ صَوْتَكَ فَوْقَ أَصْوَاتِهِمَا وَ لاَ يَدَيْكَ فَوْقَ أَيْدِيهِمَا وَ لاَ تَتَقَدَّمْ قُدَّامَهُمَا.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has said (in regards to one’s parents): “Do not cast your gaze upon them except with love and compassion; do not raise your voice above theirs; do not raise your hands above theirs; do not walk ahead of them.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 79

On Behalf of Parents

  

قَالَ الصَّادِقُ )ع): مَا يَمْنَعُ الرَّجُلَ مِنْكُمْ أَنْ يَبَرَّ وَالِدَيْهِ حَيَّيْنِ وَ مَيِّتَيْنِ يُصَلِّيَ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَتَصَدَّقَ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَحُجَّ عَنْهُمَا وَ يَصُومَ عَنْهُمَا فَيَكُونَ الَّذِي صَنَعَ لَهُمَا وَ لَهُ مِثْلُ ذٌلِكَ فَيَزِيدَهُ اللٌّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ بِبِرِّهِ وَ صِلَتِهِ خَيْراً كَثِيراً.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) had said: “What prevents a person from doing good to his parents - whether alive or dead - by offering prayers, giving charity, performing Hajj on behalf of them, (knowing that) the rewards of these acts are also granted to him, in addition to his parents?  Besides, due to his good deeds and prayers (for them), Allah, the Mighty and the Glorious, shall grant him abundant good.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 46

Evil Parents And Kindness

عَنْ أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ )ع) قَالَ: ثَلاَثٌ لَمْ يَجْعَلِ اللٌّهُ عَزَّ وَ جَلَّ لِأَحَدٍ فِيهِنَّ رُخْصَةً أَدَاءُ الأََمَانَةِ إِلَى الْبَرِّ وَ الْفَاجِرِ وَ الْوَفَاءُ بِالْعَهْدِ لِلْبَرِّ وَ الْفَاجِرِ وَ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ بَرَّيْنِ كَانَا أَوْ فَاجِرَيْنِ.

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) has said: “There are three things which Allah, the Mighty and the Glorious has not permitted anyone to forsake: returning a trust to its owner, irrespective of whether he is a good person or an evil one; fulfilling one’s promises and covenants, irrespective of whether it has been made to a good person or an evil one; being good and kind towards one’s parents, irrespective of whether they are good or evil.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 56

Polytheist Parents

عَنِ الرِّضَا )ع) فِي كِتَابِهِ إِلَى الْمَأْمُونِ قَالَ: وَ بِرُّ الْوَالِدَيْنِ وَاجِبٌ وَ إِنْ كَانَا مُشْرِكَيْنِ وَ لاَ طَاعَةَ لَهُمَا فِي مَعْصِيَةِ الْخَالِقِ.

In a letter to Ma`mun, Imam ar-Ridha (as) wrote: “To do good to one’s parents is obligatory, even if they are of the polytheists, however, they should not be obeyed in acts that go against the commands of Allah.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 72

Visiting the Graves of Parents

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللٌّهُ (ص): مَنْ زَارَ قَبْرَ وَالِدَيهِ أَوْ أَحَدِهِمَا فِي كُلِّ جُمْعَةٍ مَرَّةً غَفَرَ اللٌّهُ لَهُ وَ كَتَبَ لَهُ بَارًّا.

It has been narrated that the Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “Whoever visits the graves of his parents or one of them every Friday, Allah shall forgive his sins and shall regard him to be of those who had been kind to his parents.”

Kanzul `Ummal, Volume 16, Page 468

Kindness to Parents and Paradise

عَنْ أَبِي الْحَسَنِ )ع) قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللٌّهِ  )ص) كُنْ بَارّاً وَ اقْتَصِرْ عَلَى الْجَنَّةِ وَ إِنْ كُنْتَ عَاقّاً فَظّاً فَاقْتَصِرْ عَلَى النَّارِ.

Imam ar-Ridha (as) relates that the Noble Prophet (saws) has said: “Be good and kind to your parents so that your recompense is paradise, and if you have been disowned by them, your abode shall be the fire (of Hell).”

Al-Kafi, Volume 2, pg.348

A Stern Look

عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ )ع) قَالَ: لَوْ عَلِمَ اللٌّهُ شَيْئاً أَدْنَى مِنْ أُفٍّ لَنَهَى عَنْهُ وَ هُوَ مِنْ أَدْنَى الْعُقُوقِ وَ مِنَ الْعُقُوقِ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ الرَّجُلُ إِلَى وَالِدَيْهِ فَيُحِدَّ النَّظَرَ إِلَيْهِمَا.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has said: “Had Allah known of a thing more trivial and insignificant than the word ‘ugh’, he would have forbidden it (to be spoken to the parents).  Uttering ‘ugh’ (to the parents) is the mildest form of ill conduct towards the parents.  One of the ways in which a person can be regarded as being disowned by the parents is that he casts a hard and stern look upon them.”

Al-Kafi, Volume 4, Page 50

A Hateful Look

عَنْ أَبِي عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ )ع) قَالَ: مَنْ نَظَرَ إِلَى أَبَوَيْهِ نَظَرَ مَاقِتٍ وَ هُمَا ظَالِمَانِ لَهُ لَمْ يَقْبَلِ اللٌّهُ لَهُ صَلاَةً. 

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has said: “Allah shall not accept the prayers of a person who looks at his parents with hatred, even if they have been unfair to him!”

Al-Kafi, Volume 4, Page 50

Making the Parents Sad

قَالَ أَمِيـرُ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ )ع): مَنْ أَحْزَنَ وَالِدَيْهِ فَقَدْ عَقَّهُمَا.

The Commander of the Faithful (as) has said: “One who causes his parents to become sad has indeed been disowned by them.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 64

The Imam’s Displeasure

  

عن أَبِي جَعْفَرٍ )ع) قَالَ: إِنَّ أَبِي نَظَرَ إِلَى رَجُلٍ وَ مَعَهُ ابْنُهُ يَمْشِي وَ الإِبْنُ مُتَّكِئٌ عَلَى ذِرَاعِ الأََبِ قَالَ فَمَا كَلَّمَهُ أَبِي )ع) مَقْتاً لَهُ حَتَّى فَارَقَ الدُّنْيَا.

Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (as) relates: “Once my father saw a person and his son walking together. As they walked, the son was leaning against the arm of his father. (This act of the son was so abhorrent and infuriating to my father that) he (as) never spoke to him throughout his life.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 64

Quarreling with One’s Father

قَالَ أَبُو عَبْدِ اللٌّهِ )ع): ثَلاَثَةٌ مَنْ عَازَهُمْ ذَلَّ الْوَالِدُ وَ السُّلْطَانُ وَ الْغَرِيـمُ.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) said: “There are three individuals that whoever argues with them shall suffer humiliation and disgrace: one’s father; a (just) ruler; and one in debt.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 71

Fragrance of Paradise

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللٌّهِ )ص) فِي كَلاَمٍ لَهُ: إِيَّاكُمْ وَ عُقُوقَ الْوَالِدَيْنِ فَإِنَّ رِيحَ الْجَنَّةِ تُوجَدُ مِنْ مَسِيرَةِ أَلْفِ عَامٍ وَ لاَ يَجِدُهَا عَاقٌّ وَ لاَ قَاطِعُ رَحِمٍ‏.

The Prophet (saws) has said: “Beware of become disowned by your parents, for verily the fragrance of paradise which can be smelt from a distance of a thousand years, shall never reach the nostrils of one who has been disowned by his parents and one who has severed the bonds of kinship (with his relatives).”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 62

No Entry into Paradise!

عَنِ الصَّادِقِ )ع) قاَلَ: لاَ يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ الْعَاقُ لِوَالِدَيهِ وَ الْمُدْمِنُ الْخَمْرِ وَ الْمَنَّانُ بِأَفْعَالِ الْخَيْرِ إِذَا عَمِلَهُ.

Imam as-Sadiq (as) has said: “The person who has been disowned by his parents, one who consumes intoxicants and one who does acts of goodness towards others but imposes obligations upon them shall never enter into Paradise.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 74

Allah Shall Not Exhibit Mercy Upon Them!

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللٌّهِ )ص): أَرْبَعَةٌ لاَ يَنْظُرُ اللٌّهُ إِلَيْهِمْ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ عَاقٌّ وَ مَنَّانٌ وَ مُكَذِّبٌ بِالْقَدَرِ وَ مُدْمِنُ خَمْرٍ.

The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him and his family) has stated: “On the Day of Judgment there shall be four groups of people upon whom Allah shall not cast His look of mercy: those who have been disowned by their parents, those who place obligations upon others after doing good to them, those who reject the concept of fate and destiny and the one who consumes intoxicants.”

Biharul Anwar, Volume 74, Page 71